I conclude 100% that I'm seriously down on luck since 8 dec 2008. I broke up that day and i havent stopped thinking about it though i try, but couldnt help it if i'm free. i'm unlucky. After that, i suffered alot of ugly bruises from falls, people falling on me and grabbing me. I can't really sleep at night though i slept quite little everyday. I got a mild attack from a crow for the FIRST time cause i was eating. My hall caroling got sacked, we lost some deals and were demoralised. I dropped my ezlink card but some kind soul returned it to my doorstep. Our badge machine spoilt at make-a-wish party, some kids were really disappointed cause their badges couldn't be made. oh my.. i've never been so sway all of life and everything just happened together -.- Today's make a wish party was really fulfiling. The kids are so cute and so small and soso adorable. haas =)




Good. I'm doing good. Seems that keeping myself busy works, but i'm so shag and i 'feel injured' cause my leg and waist have so many bruises. My sleeping hours are changed and shortened.
Really want to thank all those who encouraged and advised me during my lowest period in my life. Cuixia and Jiahui who took time out to accompany me and and tried their best to cheer me up, scolded me for being stupid.. Gelvin who's always there to advise me, to scold the person who hurt me, to wake me up from my nonsense and i know will be always there when i needed someone to talk.. Jason, whom i didnt know for too long helped me alot cause he's the only one who trust him and hence truly understand my feelings, someone who has no obligation to help, but willingly lend a helping hand and lending his listening ear, to listen to my nonsense.. Aveline who called me twice to show her concern and cheer me up. wee leong who ultimately trigger me to let go though i dont know why but it seems to wake me up that very night. Everyone who supported me and stood by me these few days.
It made me realise a lot of things and things which i never could see in the past. Its not easy but i'm happy that i know so many people are so concern and i'm feeling alot better now.. They are right, forget the matter, dont hate and move on. I dont hate, i feel abit sorry and empathy instead cause ultimately he has to live with doing something against his conscience, he's guilty and cause he's not a bad person, he'll not feel good either so .. i wish him all the best and i hope that he will grow and learn out of it and have better decision making skills from now onwards.. People say i'm stupid and he's definitely not worth all my tears and efforts but ultimately, there are no regrets in the relationship, i dont blame him and i'll still be his friend no matter what, just that i feel he is just too ashame to even face me again..so take things as it goes. I'M ALMOST THERE =)




Haix.. we met for one last time for a proper closure. It seems that he is telling the truth. He's so guilty about it, he knows he's a jerk and what can i do? I believe him, he's not that kind of person. Just that he's so bent on his decision and so there's no turning back already.. I feel better but at the same time, it makes it worse for me to forget the whole matter. This is so bad, is this the only way out? Its so unfair but i can do nothing. I know i can change things if i talk to his parents but he's so against it and as much as i wanted it, i decided not to. or maybe yet. This is so tough, what am i going to do? I'll never snap out of this. God, please help. I'll die from depression.. this is so not right, i need strength.